I couldnt remember the name of this space.
I thought I had left this space untouch for at least 10 years. but i just realised, i am still updating it up till 2017. thats pretty recent.
Life right now.
I have a ok job. not as good as i want it to be, but i can be comfortable.
I am stuck with a double life.
Seeing people around me moving on. enjoying life. i am envious. but i cant bear to get out of this at this point of time. its too cruel.
Kai is now pregnant. I am so happy for her! so glad everything eventually worked out for her and Dave. I am sure both of them would be great parents.
What about me?
Sometimes these thoughts keep me up at night. Parenting. Age. Savings. House. Debts.
I am 35.
Looking back at my old photos. I used to be so happy. So easily contented. Now I am hardly happy. Cause a part of me is dark. I became someone i hated.
Is this guilt? Will this feeling ever go away?
