thru this recent fight,
i realised that i have took alot of things for granted.
that my bf is supposed to make me happy and act like how i want them to act.
taken for granted because it has always been like that. thru my past rships.
mery is right, altho i keep sayin i didnt want to compare, subconsciously i am always comparing him to the mental template in my heart.
until this time, i realised i could be at fault even though my reasons are justifiable. he was so insistent that he will not apologise cos he felt he didnt do anything wrong.
looking back, there must be alot of times when he said sorry just so that we can stop fighting, even though it may be me who triggered the whole thing.
sigh
i always say i m how nice how nice to him. claiming all the credits i can get.
but when i saw his face when he came over the other night, i know he must have felt really really awful over e weekend.
i mean i can be nice to him when we are not fighting. but if he cant do the thing he wants to do, will he be happy? if he wont be happy, whats e purpose of this rship?? pointless no?
no matter how he lived his life, drinking partying,its the way we all deem it as wrong but e way he enjoys it. whenever hes out, he sing, he dance he drinks.. things tt he likes to do, thats all. its because we always imagine the worst scenario, thus we nag for no reason..
must be sad that he have to restraint himself for me, his aunt and his family. :(
i shd have realised this earlier.
i have thus decided that from now on, to the greatest extent possible, i will not interfere w his social life. discipline or not, i shall leave it up to his aunt & dad.
for me, my role will be take good care of him, love him and support him in whatever he does gg forward.
tts abt it.
had a great date tonight w him. :) happiness can be so simple. i hope managed to make his day and tt he can recover soon!
