♥ *+ OuR StoRy +*

♥ 20050831

My Simple Life ♥

Thanks to Gwen.. i read this blog of her friend.. kinda disturbing i must say.. and it sets me thinking..

i was reminded of alot of things.. how could i possibly forget..the one who used to give up so much for me but yet i din treasure.. was nv a good gf.. didnt give him my best..i didnt love him like he loved.. 3 yrs spend together.. but we are now like totally strangers..

sometimes when i m alone.. i will start to think about my past.. he is the biggest regret in my life..

i regretted .. seriously.. i do miss him.. miss him in my life.. maybe its more of a habit.. but..

i miss his smile
his laughter..
our baby talk..
i miss falling aslp on his shoulder when i m tired..
i miss him calling me PugerRene..
I miss him trying to act cute with me.. but he was reall cute.. so boyish.. he got tis harmless little grin.. which i nv realised back then.. and i know.. i m nv gonna see that grin again..

everything between us was simple.. built on mind rather than physical..he gave me everything i wanted. but again and again i let him down..

We had lots of plans for the future.. but everything just ended.. and now tt we are moving on.. in different directions.. our path will never cross again..maybe right now he is letting go of the memories we share.. bit by bit.. doesnt want me in his life anymore..

Before i found out about his new love.. he told me.. that my position in his heart will never be replaced.. i guess it speaks the same for me..

Tears flowing down while i was typing this.. and i wondered.. is it a good or a bad thing that he has forgotten me.... ..... ....

Never look back, we said.. how was i to know i miss you so..

I guess the time was right for us to say
We'd take our time and live our lives together day by day
We'll make a wish and send it on a prayer
We know our dreams can all come true
With love that we can share
With you I never wonder - Will you be there for me
With you I never wonder - You're the right one for me

I finally found the love of a lifetime
A love to last my whole life through
I finally found the love of a lifetime
Forever in my heart, I finally found the love of a lifetime

With every kiss our love is like brand-new
And every star up in the sky was made for me and you
Still we both know that the road is long
We know that we will be together
Because our love is strong

"once the title is relinquished, does that mean love is relinquished as well?"

♥ My World My Life

1:31 AM

♥ 20050829

My Simple Life ♥

kana OT most of the days last week.. tts becos e other girl is passing all her work to me before she goes on maternity leave.. siGh.. tough work.. plus my test comin up.. so stressed..

Went for a movie with dear, kailin, zp, poon, baoyong etc.. Red eye..another low budget film.. but it was quite nice i can say.. better than the maid i feel.. yeap..

after movie headed home..

Sat.. dear accompany me to pasir ris for michelle's chalet.. before tt went to white sand to search for mich pressie.. ended up we got our selves a pair of ring.. theres this interesting shop in whitesand.. the engraved rings are all quite cheap.. and nice as well.. initially caught aglimpse of this ring.. it reads ' I can feel you even when i close my eyes.." i tot.. so sweet! tot of getting a pair for us both.. but its really not worth it.. cost ard 30 per pair.. so we decided to get a ring to engraved our name on it.. cost us only 12 bucks a pair.. haha..

Hes supp to accompany me till mao come.. cos he has got another chalet near there.. bt in the end he stayed thruout.. he din really have trouble talking to weihao and michelle and eric ..

Went to the beach for a walk.. a simple walk.. but found out alot abt his past.. i seriously.. don like his past.. he keep telling me.. its his past.. and its over .. the moment he met me.. till now i still don understand.. why i can be the one to let him settle down.. WHY is it me? how come he think i will be a good gf.. siGh

Beginning to get bothered by his past.. i tried to laugh it off.. but i m again diappointed in his life before he knew me.. for some reason.. i m quite certain that he wont be like tt anymore.. but it just bothers me.. .... ...... ........... ........................

♥ My World My Life

1:40 AM

♥ 20050828

My Simple Life ♥

I just knew i m going to feel tis way.. i just knew.. it all just came back to me... tts why i nv felt like going.. feelings are no longer there.. things are no longer the same.. and we will no longer be friends.. just feel kinda sad.. kinda disappointed.. i knew i cant blame him for being heartless.. hes probably as hurt as i was when i left him..i know he has probably found the rite one..

i swear i saw weihao lookin at me a few times from where he was.. caught each others' glimpse a few times.. bt no one talk.. maybe it will just be lyk wat jason said.. one day.. we will forgive each other and become the best of friends..but it doesnt matter for now.. i just wanna feel normal again..

Chalet was boring.. alot of pple i dunno.. jeff and katek reach rather late.. stayed for less than an hr and left..Sigh.. got lots to talk to jeff.. but he was just quiet.. eric changed too.. dunno how to put it but hes just different.. a more mature him.. all of us were there .. but thigns are no longer the same..

For a few times i saw weihao sitting alone there.. and i just wanted to go over to talk to him.. but.. din have the courage to.. just wan to ask how he is.. but i can see tt hes doing well.. was bz on the phone.. prob is her..

I wish him all the best.. and i hope this one wont turn out like me and jia qin..

♥ My World My Life

12:51 AM

♥ 20050825

My Simple Life ♥

Test is on monday.. rite now i havent really studied.. been really busy at work.. part of me like it.. cos time passes faster and i really feel like i am an accountant with teh amount of technical work piled at me.. on the other hand.. i got no time to slack.. and now.. i even have to work OT.. i was the last person to leave office todaY~

things are getting on fine between me and my dear.. both of us seem to have forgotten about the probation period thingy.. we just got along pretty well..natural.. but we dont get to see each other often.. since he is still serving the nation.. however once we meet during weekends.. we will spend some quality time tog.. just talking .. basically jsut dating..

Hes a combination of weihao and gerald.. not trying to compare but i have friends telling me so.. but i think he takes over all the negative parts of weihao.. insensitive and sticky are big parts of it.. but also some nice things that is similiar to him - his attention-giving. sacrifices. giving me the best of everything. One best part i like about him, he got his own circle of so-called brudders.. and therefore i am not afraid that i will not have enough breathing space.. and if u guys dunno, i always enjoy hanging out with my bf's friends.. but all my Xs don seem to have much friends..

However, sometimes when i was thinking about us..i m just afraid.. afraid of the ending.. wat is it gonna be this time round..??

com'on.. lets face it.. i wont be marrying this guy i m seeing now.. so.. how will our ending be like? ANother heart break. or another good friend in my life? or just another one who walks out of my life? I just don think i m worth him working on.. i m not blind.. i see the effort he put into working things out.. but u guys know me.. i get sick of someone v easily.. and whoever comes along.. i wouldnt mind to play around him.. or my feelings for my previous guys will relit out of nowhere..last time when i was with weihao.. i was still seeing ben.. then there was my scandals in clubs.. I WONT CHANGE no matter how i want myself too..

Hanzi told me she don think i should be seeing Doink (guys of our age) cos she believe its time to look for 'lifetime partner' (older guys).. her tot somehow shocked me.. i mean.. at my age? life time partner? kinda far-fetched eh.. but nevertheless she set me thinking.. maybe shes rite.. i m jsut wasting my time with him.. and this may end up either hurting me or him or both.. sigh. enough for now..

SAt is michelle's bday.. i m seriously considering if i should go.. putting aside the fact tt i wan to study for my test on monday.. i seriously think i will be so out of place since i will be seeing weihao there.. after not talking for so long.. after tt faithful nite he left me at PS.. its gonna b v awkward. at least for me.. and seriously i don think they will still enjoy my company anyway.. or vice versa... i really don feel like going...we will see abt tt ya..

Finally.. i m takin off from clubbing tml nite.. haha..

♥ My World My Life

10:50 PM

♥ 20050824

My Simple Life ♥

Sigh.. could feel the heavy load on my back.. working and studying is definitely hard to jurgle..

I have no life now. other than working.. i m going to school.. most of the time when i don need to go to school.. i go home to zzz..siGh..

and my weekend is a standard routine.. so far.. every friday i have been clubbing.. and ever since i met my dear.. i have been meetin him on sat evening.. no more late sat nites.. and sun nite i would normally go over to west side for him since he is booking in at nite..

yeah..tts how my life is now.. plus nw tt i see this test coming up.. i dunno why.. i just know i need to do well for it.. but my body don wan to cooperate.. like today.. i skipped class so tt i can study.. i din even watch my Proj superstar.. but once i reach home.. i conked out on my bed.. and i just wake up.. haiz...

And just like gwen.. i m getting v emo towards friends issue.. i kept wondering wat happen to all my friends?? For example, me and 2 of them were supp to meet on sun.. but everyone just conveniently assume tt we cant make it cos no one mention a word abt meeting.. mm.. just weird.. no one said anything???

I miss my carefreee days.. and also.. my friends..

And for some reasons.. i m missing daryl.. it was me who decided to walk out of him.. but i miss him.. maybe more of missing his company.. he was really a good companion..

miss the car rides we had, miss the times he called in the nite to chat.. miss our supper.. yeah.. and lots of staff..

The last time he called was Sunday nite.. after he seen my msn nick as "call me if u still care.. i wish to talk to u.." but bloody coward din pick up e call.. was afraid of the silence on the other line.. was afraid i will be soft hearted again.. forwarded him 2 msg after tt.. but no reply.. guess he would have know that i m attached by now.. i din have the courage to bring it across to him.. even tho i promise dear tt i would.. sigh.. i just have this soft spot for him..

And i was thinking.. dear is another one who came along.. to replace someone.. wat i m trying to say is that.. i met weihao immediately i left ben.. that means if i m with weihao for one year.. it means i have left ben for one year.. same goes for Gerald who came along when i left weihao.. and now.. doink is here to replace daryl..

i have been with doink for one month now.. that means daryl is out of my life for one month already... ... i m still trying to cope.. was too dependent on him.. siGh.

♥ My World My Life

11:39 PM

♥ 20050820

My Simple Life ♥

Sometimes.. things just dont happen the way you want them to be....

It doesnt matter how it could have been or not been.. cos its already a fact.. no one can change it.. we just have to learn to live with it..

and i still believe in fighting for your own happiness..no matter wat they think.. we are only young once isnt it.. this is the only time we can do things to regret or be proud of..

ITs definitely my worst clubbing session.. but its gonna be a unforgtable one.. no doubt..

Went kailin's place..dress up and makeup.. then took cab with kailin peishan and carol to MOMO..

i was looking forward.. cos i heard lots were going.. and there was a table..

reach there around 12..it was boring at start.. the 4 of us standing like fools.. cos no one was high.. on the other hand.. doink was having a hell-of-a-good time with his friends.. max.. gary.. etc etc.. finally saw joyce tho.. not as pretty as expected.. but definitely sweet..

Doink did a poor introduction of me to all his friends.. doh.. like i m some kind of exhibit.. haiz.. angry.. and din wan to talk to him.. he was just having so much FUN.. hugging and griding his guy frineds.. but that group was more friendly than expected.. definitely a fun bunch.. a pity i was shy so i nv really talk with them... wahahaha..

Started 5-10 with zp then darren and doink join in.. then Poon challenge me.. at first i was winning.. but i think he caught my pattern so i kept losing.. and drank quite a bit.. until i was a bit high..then kailin went missing again.. went toilet with peishan to find her but couldnt get her.. diao..came back and told darren.. and darren again had to go look for her..

For some time i only remember playing games with my dear then his friends came to disturb.. then Joanne was drunk cos keep losing to poon.. and i ended up taking care of her for 2 hours.. DOH.. stubborn girl.. water don wan drink.. don wan dance it off.. don wan go toilet.. keep leaning on me.. i cant dance.. cant have fun.. haiz.. but i cant leave her with poon.. although dear say Poon will not do anything to her.. but its stil not nice.. i wont like it if someone throw the drunk me with some guys.. so i stayed to take care of her..

Jeffrey had to drag her to toilet by force.. and i alone had to take care of her..she puke on my feet.. ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.. first time.. thanks.. somemore i not v close with her lO!.. nvm..stay with her in the toilet for quite some time..

then finally saw the missing Kailin..wasnt really angry with her.. but at that point of time .. just kinda .. upset over her long disappearances.. although the reason she went missing was understandable.. but.. maybe Joanne's burden is makig me damn unhappy all over..

Drag her out of the toilet after a v long rest.. then only this time round..all the guys was crowding around her.. blah blah blah.. i was like HELLO?????? where were they when the worst (puking ) happened huh???? eveyrone wasnt around.. only me poon doink was looking after her.. then doink was asking me.. why do so much.. i was like.. i cant just leave her with some guys la.. so poon and brought her out for some fresh air..

tts when the real shit happen for the entire nite.. and since its so bad.. no point writing here for u guys to see rite?? haha..

watever happened has happened.. pls do not blame urself.. it may be a mistake.. but not necessarily a bad one.. at least u know the truth.. i know in a way or another.. u are happier knowing the truth.. wats holding u back may be the guilt for the moment.. just hope both can sort things between themselves... and don jump into any decision or conclusion.. u need time to think.. if hes urs.. he cant run away lo.. if he runs away.. how gd is he anyway.. =P But i will support ur decision my dear.. be strong and i will be here.. hope u can find ur happiness soon~ keep me updated .. =P

p/s: eh kailin.. next time hor.. can don run anot ? i got no stamina leh.. =P

♥ My World My Life

3:51 PM

♥ 20050818

My Simple Life ♥

I dunno wat is wrong with me.. i felt like i cant control my anger.. the thing is i dunno why i m angry..

Hung up with doink.. and i think i made him quite upset with the way i talk to him..

He doesnt deserve this treatment.. but i guess i really cant communicate well with him.. and i don really have the patience to talk nicely and slowly to him.. wat a gf..

The way i talk to him is exactly how i talk to weihao last time.. *haiz* i m making history repeats.. after i hung up.. i just cried.. i dunno why i m like this..

I think its only fair that i be alone...

♥ My World My Life

12:10 AM

♥ 20050817

My Simple Life ♥

daryl_tang@yahoo.com.sg says:
hi

Someone i no longer know.. cant believe we were once that close.. says:
hey

Someone i no longer know.. cant believe we were once that close.. says:
=)

daryl_tang@yahoo.com.sg says:
gone out?

daryl_tang@yahoo.com.sg says:
just now?

Someone i no longer know.. cant believe we were once that close.. says:
er no?

daryl_tang@yahoo.com.sg says:
didnt see u online jsut now

Someone i no longer know.. cant believe we were once that close.. says:
i just online only ma

Someone i no longer know.. cant believe we were once that close.. says:
was packing my bag

daryl_tang@yahoo.com.sg says:
oic

daryl_tang@yahoo.com.sg says:
going where?

Someone i no longer know.. cant believe we were once that close.. says:
er?

Someone i no longer know.. cant believe we were once that close.. says:
work tml?

daryl_tang@yahoo.com.sg says:
oh

daryl_tang@yahoo.com.sg says:
must pack one ma?

Someone i no longer know.. cant believe we were once that close.. says:
yeah

Someone i no longer know.. cant believe we were once that close.. says:
cos tml got class

daryl_tang@yahoo.com.sg says:
zzz
daryl_tang@yahoo.com.sg says:
headache came back today.. how?

U are an idiot who fails to see that i want to give up on u.. why act till u are so concerned about my doings .. issit its becos my leaving was a blow to ur ego? You still want to know watever i m doing.. hah.. i just feel like luffing..

♥ My World My Life

1:28 AM

♥

My Simple Life ♥

Basically its work and work and study.. haiz.. missing out lots in my life.. the only thing to perk me up is Fri's momo.. bleah.

Things are getting along fine with me and Doink.. just cant really see my attachment to the rship v much.. basically i m still talking to jeremy and des.. those guys he really don like.. ah well..

Rcv some photos from Kailin we took soem time back at Dynasty KTV..

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

mE n Kailin.. one of my bestie now..at ktv.. this pic makes both of us look so sweet.. =)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Finally, the long awaited photo if u guys are interested in who is ah DOink.. there..

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Kailin and ZanPeng.. her friend and a regular momo khaki.. =P

♥ My World My Life

1:11 AM

♥ 20050814

My Simple Life ♥

ARgh.. bloody left my charger in office.. so now my phone is low batt.. i dunno who called or msg me.. arGh..

SO for those who cant find me.. sorry~

Met doink for the maid at shaw beach road today.. the show was ok.. not fantastic and not too scary... not worth that 9.50.. maybe watch on weekdays ba...

went bugis for shopping.. and i saw a few things i really like and wanted to buy!

- Green skirt from M industries
- Belt at Bugis street
- Hp accessories
- Shirt for doink's bday..

argh.. i really squander away all his money.. bleah.. haiz..

and my pay is late.. haiz..

really haiz..

♥ My World My Life

10:38 PM

♥ 20050813

My Simple Life ♥

Feel the need to blog.. siGh.. i m so screwed up last nite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!everything was just so wrong..

To begin with.. i din study for my MA test.. siGh.. luckily it wasnt tooo hard..

THen.. me and gwen and hanzi couldnt make up our mind on momo... we kept changing plans..finally after i met kailin.. she already decided that she will sign me in.. so i decided to go to gwen's place to meet up with her before heading down to momo..

Its good to see her anyway! glad shes doing fine.. other than her work part.. sat down at the playground and chat ourselves away with hanzi..and she decided to come down with me to momo.. slowly made our way down by bus after mid nite.. saved a bit.. =)

Ben chose not to come down cos members all full.. cannot sign him in.. argH.. but then in the end ah doink got in free.. and he told me theres alot of space on the list somemore.. diao..

Ah DOink was unhappy with me since i was sick and still wanna go down.. but i knowhe don wan me to go down cos Desmond was there.. and hes worried.. but anyway.. i wanted him to come too la.. since the moment i reach.. poon, darren, baoyong and all were asking abt him.. saying wat he nv wear uniform is under me etc etc.. so i m responsible for him..lol..

Then dance my nite away.. drink abit.. not alot.. but enough to make me dizzy but yet still know wat i was doing.. jsut remembered walking around with kailin n gwen.. then keep throwing him alone.. cos he v sticky.. then i don really like since i am at club..

So the climax of the nite was around 3.. when the last round of rnB finishes.. i met Desmond and group ..

Initially i only wanted to test ah doink's tolerance level.. and i started playing finger guessing game with them.. and drinking .. with des and kenee.. then who knows.. i play till i high.. then keep playing and keep drinking and was rather close to the 2 of them.. i din realise wat i was doing.. until 4.. and doink has to drag me out of the place..

Last thing i remmebered was .. Kenee tried to kiss me and left his hand on my waist.. but i really din feel it.. and Doink was really pissed off..

Doink was really really angry.. then i ask gwen was i overboard.. she said ya.. if she were him.. she will be angry too.. then i know i gt myself into trouble..

the worst thing? he heard something i told kenee that he shouldnt have hear.. i told kenee that i don wan this bf already.. wtf! din know why i say that.. playful i guess..i really don mean it tho.. but he overheard.. damn.. it must have really hurt him.. no wonder hes so angry..

Upon coming out of the club.. i was with Gwen.. and i only saw Darren and Baoyong trying to pull him away from me..asking him to go home now.. and don bother abt him.. AH! fark la.. i always try to put a good impression to that grp.. cos they v scary one.. gossipers.. but then now is like.. they must haf tot i m some bitch la..

Apologise to dear straight.. and i was really guilty.. even tho my head was still spinning. everything was clearer to me.. he did forgive me.. but i also heard he complained to Gwen on their way home too.. ..

I am surprised that he manage to control and save the face for me without confronting me and that Kenee guy.. and obviously i can see that hes really concerned abt me..i told him i m really not worth it.. cos be4 i know him.. i was already liek tt.. before i met him.. i nv club with my ex before one ma.. so i din have a limit to the things i do..and i don know i m overboard.. but he say if he don think i m worth it .. he would have threw my bag at Kenee and went off.. instead he chose to stand there and see me have my own fun..

Got scolded by Gwen.. cos she say i got nth better to do then doing those stupid things.. even kailin also say that its not funny lo.. i tot it was la.. but not after he was so angry..Hmm..

Some shit happened to Kailin.. haiz.. this girl.. recently seems to have alot on her mind.. i hope she is having a good rest? silly girl.. anything u still got carol or me or darren they all ma.. be strong!

overall i guess i did have fun.. thats my definition of fun..dunno what u doing and screaming and shouting.. but gwen said its one of her worst clubbing session ever. gues it just diff kind of fun she looking for..bleah.. i tot i could let her haf fun.. but i guess i myself got carried away.. feel guilty and sorry..

And like wat she says.. I must treasure wat i have now.. cos hes really like another weihao.. tolerated all my shitty stuffs..and can see all his effort he put in for the rship..i m going to treasure him.. and try to make us work out..

Jia you! and be good.. (^^)V

btw.. gonna rest for a while.. my body and finance and mother all cant take the way i m clubbing now..

♥ My World My Life

12:50 PM

♥ 20050811

My Simple Life ♥

Had a quarrel with ah doink on 2 nites ago.. sIgh.. both of us were v upset abt it..

Today he came to SIM to accompany me to study for my test in the evening.. everything was fine after he apologised to me..

THe test was a breeze.. after tt dear came to lecture with us... haha.. he seems so bored..
Hanzi looked super tired .. hope shes doing ok..

Went to Punggol for Nasi Lemak with him after class.. he told me he was really sorry on the way there.. i accepted his apology.. and we were fine again..

Had a good talk after dinner at Punggol park.. the talk brought us closer together.. clearing each other's doubt..

the thing i m most afraid of nw is his finance.. arGh.. the cab fare is damn ex la.. having to send me home at back to Jurong.. thats like almost 30 bucks everytime.. haiz.. hopefully i wont squander away all his money.. bleah..

Shall be independent and insist i go home by myself from now on.. haha.. =P

♥ My World My Life

2:15 AM

♥ 20050810

My Simple Life ♥

Knew J thru gwen.. one nite after zouk.. hes gwen's schoolmate and then he was working as security at zouk..

we exchanged msn.. and started chatting on net.. we got along well.. and started chatting via sms..was kinda physically attracted to this guy..

its been 2 months.. and things seems to get a bit out of hand.. we flirt with each other online or sms.. he even calls me up.. but his intention were clear.. to fling.. hes attached..

he calls me up on friday nite.. hopefully we could meet up after our clubbing sessions... and he wanted to stay over at my place .. but i told him cant.. cos i was already heading home after supper..

all these seeming-harmless flirts is making me guilty..all of a sudden..

Was browing thru his friendster.. and he and his gf is definitely sweet.. he sang praises abt her in her testi.. and the girl left alot of nice ones for him 2.. all their friends tot that they are a model couple..

And only then i realise in horror.. wtf i am doing with him.. i m actually doing things that i will nv want other girls to do to my bf.. i m being the bitch in their relationship.. or the so called "3rd party"..wtf is wrong with me.. i lost all my principles..

I jolly well knew he was attached.. and the things we said shouldnt be said..

He only loves her.. and i m only making myself worthless by being a easy prey....

WTF.. wat has got into me..

♥ My World My Life

1:45 AM

♥ 20050809

My Simple Life ♥

Finally made myself deleted dt from my msn.. guess i m moving on from where he left me..the things he is doing to me is hurting me badly as time goes by.. but he just had no idea...

i need to move on..

One thing i can still be proud of.. i din shed a single tear for him.. guess hes not tt impt afterall..

Hope he can treat pple with some basic respect from now on..

and i m considering v carefully abt doink.. i dont want to create another weihao..

ArgH.. test is coming.. and i m neglecting my studies becos of all these shit.. better pull up my socks.. before everything is too late ya..

Jiayou serene..

♥ My World My Life

2:48 PM

♥

My Simple Life ♥

If you knew in the first place i wasnt the one u wanted.. why cant u keep a distance..

why did u made me believe i was the special one.. and then left me hanging..

why do u have to kp playing with my heart..

why do u still kept calling when u knew i m not the one..

why do u wan to know my doings..

so many questions.. so little answers..

You are simply selfish..

If u really have a little respect for me.. would u have just msg to ask me where is the best place to watch fireworks tonite..

and the person u are watching with is not me..

i m so afraid to think abt who the person might be..

i m trying v hard to leave u.. i beg u to stop coming back to me.. i hate to be soft hearted towards u..

♥ My World My Life

1:01 AM

♥ 20050808

My Simple Life ♥

Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long

♥ My World My Life

12:57 AM

♥ 20050807

My Simple Life ♥

Its been long since i last went dating.. mm.. kinda excited at first..

but then to realise.. town is still the same.. packed with pple..

Went for late lunch at PS Ajisen.. hee.. nice.. then to CC for Mud pie..

On our way down.. we saw Gwen and Michelle they all..

Gwen looked tired.. must be due to her lack of slp again.. feel tt i haven really talked to her other than friday noon we talked abt wat happen the nite before.. kinda miss her.. tot will be going momo with her.. but i waited for her call till 11 plus..and it nv came when i msg her.. shes already there with jasmine..tot she might be drinking high already and shes got company.. so ya.. i din go down..

EARLIER in the evening.. went esp to see the fireworks.. v nice.. but the feeling is kinda diff..maybe its becos of the person u see with.. i really enjoyed the one 2 years back.. new yr countdown.. was with weihao and the bouquet of Ferrero Rocher.. brought back memories...

went to Marina SQ to explore .. haven been there since its grand opening.. went arcade and bought a pair of sandals which i really like..

Later Doink received call from Gary.. asking us whether are we going down to KTV at dynasty still.. nth to do.. so we went down.. had to lie to my mom .. cos shes worried abt me.. sigh..but the entire day i just don feel good.. so i tot go down see see look look.. nv been there before.. and since kailin is gg there alone w e guys.. i tot i had go down keep her company..

A new exposure.. cos its a nite club.. i just tot maybe i will see martin they all there.. haha.. a place i think the irn pple will go lo.. the guys were singing.. and i kept kailin company cos i lost my voice..

Left for home around 2 am.. on the way back felt hungry and went to eat at selegie prata.. on the way dropped by to find alex..

something is bothering me.. even though i get along well with doink.. but then i feel that i will like him v deep or long.. the nicer he is to me.. the more i try to run away.. i can feel his possessiveness all over me..

During club.. i talk to kailin's friend he just have to come over and ask me are they my friends.. he looks at my phone when i msg pple.. when i got calls.. he asked me who.. kinda scary.. siGh..
and hes already talking to me abt future.. like going for holidays v soon those kind..

Call out to all my friends.. i miss u all.. ask me out.. gwen. mery. stella. Ben. weiling. etc etc

Btw.. i saw Junqiang at Marina Sq.. haha.. so happy to see him!! i think he got a shocked cos of my big rxn when i saw him.. he really slim down alot.. can u guys imagine hes the same size as weeleong now.. AHH!H!!.. the chubby him looks nicer leh.. haiz.. hope hes doing fine.. some friend i always want to meet up but forever nt free.. bleahz..

♥ My World My Life

3:57 PM

♥ 20050806

My Simple Life ♥

Thats it.. thats it.. time and again.. he MIA on me.. i m utterl disappointed and disgusted by his action.. i know for sure hes gonna call today and give me watever reason or rather excuse.. i will take wat he says.. but i m not gonna believe him.. my heart for him is dead... its just time and again.. ..

DT called me during my class ytd.. he said he wanna join me at momo.. cos his fren going ktv.. he said he will call me later.. and that farking call din come.. well.. i din wait for it either.. din wan him to come also.. cos of ah doink..

watever fark..

Last nite was fun! haha.. i m startg to like kailin's group.. initially we couldnt get a table.. so me doink kailin carol poon and zanpeng were all like so sian.. i tot it will be a flop last nite.. haha.. but who knows.. all these pple will get super high on alcohol lo! and one by one started getting high..esp kailin.. haha..

Tried to stay with my friends the entire nite.. but doink was simply sticky.. even joanne can see that.. wahhaa.. but i know he just wanna tc of me..

All i remembered was lots of drinks again.. some finger guessing with kailin's friends, desmond they all..and.. i screamed alot too.. like kailin.. and lost my precious voice at the end of the party..

The group is simply confusing.. C n J then C n Z.. Je & Jo.. then Jo and Poon.. then K n Z... mm.. ok.. just for my reference.. don think u guys will get it other than kailin.. haha..

Drank lots more than last week.. but i was sober all the way.. just maybe a bit dizzy..

Kailin has got a really fun group of friends.. and v ez to mix around with.. yeah.. had lots of fun these 2 weeks.. thanks girL!

Party ended at 5.. crowd started to disperse.. my group is running around like siao.. left me and doink down there sit.. muahaha..lots of finger guessing game.. my dear seems to be quite good at it.. made carol drank alot.. one of the forfeit kailin had with des was to french kiss me.. wahha.. my first kiss with Kai..

To Kai: u have tried wat u want to experience le ok.. tt will be the final time i hope u can promise me.. dont say god don love u.. all of us really loves u ok.. u are just like our gem.. thansk for these happy times u and ur grp gave.. as well as this loving-bf-to-be.. haha.. so glad i knew u! AND pls don be unhappy already ya.. *muack..

Went to eat supper at hougang before heading home..by then dear and me was already dead tired..

Woke up early at this hour.. called my doink.. and hes still aslp.. must be damn tired after a crazy nite with mua..

Before leaving for home.. received msg from Jeremy.. he wanna meet up with me.. din reply anyway..

"I always see firework wat..but this time different.. cos i will be watching with her.." he told my friend.. ^^

Hes v nice to me.. and he said even after the probation he will still be the same.. i certainly hope he can pass his probation.. and be nice to me after tt still..

♥ My World My Life

12:31 PM

♥ 20050803

My Simple Life ♥

My boy booked out from camp in the evening..delivered dinner over to my school for me.. ar.. so touched.. haven received such treatment for quite some time..i fact i think i have nv got such treatment..

Heard bad things abt him from friend tho.. mm..

He told me i shouldnt look at his past.. now tt we are tog he will be true and sincere.. no matter how bastard he is before he met me.. he said he deserve a chance..

DUnno leh.. after i heard abt his scandalous act in clubs and he ownself describe him as a bastard, somwhow just put me off.. i just kept quiet..

Wanted to give up stright away.. but kailin said he deserve the chance.. maybe he will change..and he said i shouldnt gif him the verdict so fast..

Decided to gif him a one month probation.. during this one month i will access his "performance"..he will do everything to prove his worth.. if there is ever one action he did which i think is not appropraite.. he wil be out of this game..

Waited for me to finsih school from 8 to 10.. and send me home.. then take cab back to his camp at kranji.. must be damn ex .. =

7.30 Am.. boy called to wake me up.. 7.35.. it was Daryl..
its been long since he gave me morning call..
COnfused..

Reach home and slp.. wake up.. 2 missed calls..

one from dear.. one from daryl again.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Finally watched Red Candy.. so it was supposed to be the Part 2 of the movie One missed Call which Ben told me about.. then they should call it "One MissEd Call 2" ma.. but maybe red candy sounds nicer.. been looking for One Missed Call VCD.. but cannot find leh.. hopefully after Red Camdy they wil have.. since everyone will be like interested in wat happened in part one..

Gonna go back slp now.. hehe..

♥ My World My Life

3:47 AM

♥ 20050801

My Simple Life ♥

Guess the feeling is still there no doubt.. Although YongLun is v nice to me.. but i cant help but be bothered by Daryl..issit really like wat other pple said.. good guy always finish last?

Entire of yesterday.. Daryl kept calling again.. i din picked up.. but then i tot .. i cant possibly run away forever .. what if i bump into him one day on the streets? So after movie with YongLun.. i decided to meet him up with the support of Gwen.. to "talk things out"

On my way home from JP.. i msg him..

Me: why u looking for me? If just to check if i m fine. Ya. i am ok.
DaryL: (gave me a missed call then msg back) Glad to know that u are fine.. sorry if i let u down..
Me: U wanna come out?
Daryl: WHere r u.. i m at home..
Me: Are u keen in meeting up. If not, then its ok .
Daryl: Yes. Where.
Me: Serangoon Mrt.

And due to some miscommunicatios, i waited for almost 45 mins for him at e mrt station. he tot i will call him when i reach but i assume when i msg him serangoon mrt tt time he will come down.. mm..I waited for half an hr.. then he msg me..

DaryL: Wat time.
Me: .. i already reach like 20 mins ago?
*no reply*
Me: if u are not out of ur house yet then its alrite.. we will meet another day

..then he called..

Daryl: On the way on the way.. i running over now.. din know u reach..

and i can hear him running.. haha..The moment he reached he asked me.. " Why u didnt picked up my calls for 2 days.. do u know how worried i was?"

COnfused feeling in me.. part of me blamed him for not fetching me the other nite.. part of me touched that he is concerned abt me..I din ans.. just looked at him.. wanted to thrash things out.. but at that moment i couldnt say anything..

I just cooked up some lame story why i din picked up his call.. yeah.. i know i m useless..And he started telling me hes so sorry aboout wat happened the other nite.. hes really guilty..and he said he tot i was angry at him..i kept quiet.

was hungry so we walked over to some coffee shop for Ba Chor Mee..

For the first time.. he was gentlemen enough to carry my bag for me.. kinda stunned by his action..

While eating.. he told me he is sorry once again.. and he tried explaining to me..

HE wanted to meet me at Sengkang initially..but since he tot i was still angry with him.. he din dare to mention..

he offered to accompany me home.. and offered to send me to my friend's place tml after my work.. so i told him.. i was ok..He was already abt to slp when i msg him.. but he made the effort to come down which i really appreciate.

Declined him cos i don wan him to do soemthing farnee to me..but he came over anyway.. went home with him to pack his stuff.. he brought a big back pack .. ma chiam go camping .. ahah.. met his brother too..

Upon reaching..he couldnt take it and collapsed on my bed while i was msn ing.. so he insisted tat he wait for me before he slp.. could see his tired face.. din want to gif wrong signals so i told him i m talking to pple on mSN.. but bloody hell.. no one reply my msg!

he knew i was tired and insisted i take a slp while he was massaging my shoulder.. We had this little fight in the end he won.. and he shut down my comp.. idiot.. don see he thin thin.. he got great strength lo..

mm..Well.. nothing happened.. and he just hugged me to slp till the next morning..Not exactly slp la.. cos he couldnt really slp .. guess he not used to my bed.. its so diff from his.. he kept turning and tossing.. and i couldnt slp either.. and we started talking.. haha.. he ponder over a small issue for v long.. only after i told him its 4 then he panicked and decided to slp..But just as we were about to slp.. he started coughing.. real bad..

SigH.. poor guy.. so i din want to lie on his chest in case it irritates him.. Woke up by him at 7 cos his coughing was real bad..and he kept apologising to me.. cos becos he came tts why i cant slp..

silly boy..how i wish he can come over everyday.. ..................... >.< hahahahaa..

♥ My World My Life

6:29 AM