back to once a week fighting. what happened to few months no quarrel??
but we continue trying. .
hard to stay sane at times. i find myself going through thought process of a 14 yo teenage girl. so.. immature..
everytime we fight and we make up, we cherish each other more and understand each other's thoughts better. so i m not sure if its a good or bad thing after all.
however, the process is very painful. it felt like as though i was going through a heart failure. i will keep asking myself, is this the end of us? and i will answer, no, we can do better than giving up now..and then i start to panic and ask myself, why did we allow this to happen~~~??
most of the time, like 99% of the time, its just because of a v small misunderstanding. misunderstanding tt arises because we care about each other too much.
and duch misunderstanding cause things to blow out of proportions. its... so not worth it. because it brings unhappiness, fear, pain & alot of other negative feelings..
confuse mind.
he say its ok to fight, as we fight "positively", we argue to reach a common understanding & open communication. in fact, right from the start we know it wouldnt be easy. as long as we keep moving forward, it may be just baby steps, but at least we are not going backwards.
i keep thinking if i should stop focusing on him changing to someone that i wan him to be. but he told me last night, hes already a changed person. when i think about it, its very true. even if we fight, regardless of whose mistake, he will recover much faster than last time and he will not lose it that much. on and off i have been ard in his life for the past few yrs, i have heard of how he treated his previous gfs. and yes, he is absolutely right.
maybe its time now i stop whining and complaining. and keep myself in check of my mood & temper. i may have the virtue of high patience and tolerance level, but i don have a good EQ.
i, must stop causing damage to the rship. and i, will work towards it and keep reminding myself about it. i will need to tink about all the important things & happy moments when i am upset.
yes, i will do that and not be comparative and have the old thinking that, if he can, why cant i. if u love this person, gotta stop being calculative about who's giving more.
food for thought: if u are in a rship like mine. would u rather the rship be slow moving n loving, or constantly voice out (reads argue) to understand each other better, faster and cherish each other more???
