♥ *+ OuR StoRy +*

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I am having problems with my mother.. she cant seems to talk to me nicely.. nor can i seem to talk to her in a gentle way.. esp during such stressful period.. the moment i talk to her.. i will just snap..

sad to say, me and my family hasnt been in very good relationship ever since i live my lives with my friends.. i noe my dad dotes on me.. and he gives me almsot everything tt i want.. i just find it hard to talk to them..haiz.. i know i m going to regret it one day.. but nothing seems to change on my side..

i hate to see her sad as well.. it just hurts me as much when we quarrel.. i doubt she knows i feel tt way.. normally after i shout at her.. i will just cry in my room.. the next day we wont talk to each other.. and the next day we are ok again.. we nv seem to have talked over the problem .. haiz...

today is a stressful one.. MA paper is tml.. my most terrified module..i had to go school to do the e learning.. well and i raelly really forgot tt i was supposed to meet mao for study..

only until noon then i told hanzi i not meeting her.. well.. of cos i felt bad..but mao seems to be v pissed.. mayb i understand why.. but then i really couldnt make it down there..n e way i replied my sms wasnt tt friendly either..

but i really cant risk my MA paper tml.. cos i noe normally i study with her , its nv productive.. just like tt day at KAP.. 5 hours for 2 pages of notes.. and also.. its really a long way from Bukit TImah back to my place la..and i don want to make her come to ymca mac for me also wat.. i really hope she can understand.. and pls dont kill me alrite..

CLUBBING ON SAT.. heh..

CHinablack, zouk, coco latte, late nites, indochine.. here i come!!

er.. and not forgetting zoo, sentosa etc.. hehe..

♥ My World My Life

9:29 PM

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My Simple Life ♥

There seems to be some problem with Blogger.. i update my entry 2 days ago and it only appear todaY~ so u guys will probably be readnig this like on friday? by then.. i will be a free girl.. =)
er.. free as in no exams.. hahaa..

well.. first 2 paper was ok.. but i knew tml is gonna be bad.. shall do my best to make him proud of me~

I actually kinda miss my friends.. and of cos , clubbing..

I received a pleasant surprise after my paper yesterday~ its like kinda unexpected.. my boy came to pick me up in school.. haha.. well.. i raelly din expect tt.. saw him sms the moment i left my exam hall.. he suggested going to marche for lunch.. so i told him i can only meet him at 5 cos i gotta wait for a friend.. it was 230 then.. was in the lab blogging~

Decided in the end to leave notes in my friend's locker and maybe go home to change my footwear.. er..i look so weird in that pair of dunno what la.. so i was walking down the stairs.. and he called..

and he ask me whether burms and slipper can.. i was like.. er ya.. meet me dun need to wear shirt and tie la.. then he was like "can i go into ur school.." till den i know he was already in my school..HAHA..

met him at macdonalds.. the moment i saw him.. i really wanted to give him a hug.. but well, its still school..its so good to see him.. for the whole day on mon.. i tot i will lose him.. a tot that has constantly been going thru my mind..

i was very happy.. cos ya.. he did something for me.. *sweet smile*

Went to eat at Marche, had pasta, calamari rings and my favourite rosti!! heh..

NOthing was mentioned about the date with her.. other than the part they went to catch a movie.. wanted to ask..dying to know.. but i din.. maybe i will.. after my final paper.. or maybe i will just drop it..

wanted to do some shopping.. got lots to buy.. but then he had to go to United artist network for his interview.. yup.. friends who noe me knows i m damn skeptical about such stuffs.. but then i just wanted to accompany him.. but well.. its kinda different.. i like the way they do their sales pitch.. and i was v comfortable with it.. maybe becos he was with me then..

stayed for quite a bit.. and after tt he decided to go for his training.. kinda sad.. but figured tt we might not have much things to do even he keeps me company.. so i told him to go ahead.. and i decided to wait for him..for me.. i went shopping.. splurge again =|

his training finished around 930.. met him at esp and went home after tt..again, he looks damn shagged..

on my way home on the train.. Junqiang msg me..ask me go coffee soon.. and hes booked for eye 10 as well la.. seems like i cant watch it liao..

well.. this is a wednesday afternoon.. my com is working for now.. hopefully it continues to be good .. =P

Mm.. i think he cant remember that he was supposed to be visiting me this morning cos i have no paper today.. mm..

WIsh me luck guys.. i need it for tml's paper.. =P

♥ My World My Life

1:27 PM

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ARGH!!!! i felt victimised.. nv had that happened in my entire study life..

teacher give guidelines so tt we can focus on what she gives us .. and i have always followed it.. but bloody.. that SANDRA TEO is really evil.. my classmates always ask me why i hate her so much.. now i really know i hate her!!!!

the paper came out and its completely diff from what she gives us!! WTF! i think i should flunk it.. ARGH..

well.. somehting nice just happened.. brightens up my day~

"All about you" - McFly

It’s all about you
It’s all about you, baby
It’s all about you
It’s all about you

Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew.
So I told you with a smile ‘It’s all about you’
Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to,
Say ‘If you make my life worthwhile, it’s all about you’

And I would answer all you’re wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don’t know what I’d do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it’s all about you.
Yeah...

And I would answer all you’re wishes, if you asked me to.
But if you deny me one of your kisses, don’t know what I’d do.
So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do.
Dancing on the kitchen tiles,
Yes you make my life worthwhile,
So I told you with a smile...
It’s all about you.

Its such a sweet song isnt it.. love it..

alrite.. at least 2 paper is down.. i really regretted not putting in effort for this paper.. i fell asleep e moment i reach home from study with hanzi mao and ming..

supposed to wake up at 12..but by the time i wake up its already like 4 am in the morning.. and i went to sleep at 530 to catch my sleep.. cant wake up in the morning too.. ARGH.. watever.. as if i wan to be a financial planner..

was in a mess yesterday..so mentally tired.. haven felt like this for years.. luckily there was mao and hanzi.. and ming.. he just kept toking.. although i din have a chance to study when hes around .. but then.. i din manage to think abt things as well..

Planning for a trip to Bali, genting, KL, or wherever..and also a chalet at Sentosa or Pulau Ubin.. hehe.. looking forward!!

2 days to freedom..

O.. its been 3 weeks!! haha

♥ My World My Life

2:45 PM

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This entry will be a rather long one i hope.. my house com is giving me problems.. haiz.. and staying at home everyday cannot blog makes me sick.. >_<

So.. u guys may have to wait for quite some time for me to post one entry.. but it will be long, i promise..

well.. lifes usual.. except my mood swing is still very bad.. wonder if its my PMS.. haiz.. or probably the exams.. cant club etc..

Lots of nice song on Perfect 10 recently..Mm..

Its all about you.. its all about u baby..

I m rite now in the lab.. after my first paper, audit.. it was a breeze.. hopefully its not becos i got all my answers wrong..

*bRRr* its freezing in here..

3 more days to freedom..

Have trouble sleeping last nite.. i toss and turn and toss and turn.. till around 4 am in the morning.. tot of taking Lexaton.. but scared cant wake up for my paper.. yup.. so i wake up to study..

Things is just so different without him by my side.. but guess i will just have to get used to it..

Last week went by like a blur to me.. i just knew i had 3 brownies last week.. mm..

Emptiness kepy on comin back to me.. especially at nite..

Have u ever felt like u cant bring urself to believe in wat u want to believe??

Ever felt like u are so small that theres a lot of things not within ur control?

WEll, i guess its normal.. but not when i feel this way day in day out..

i find it hard to explain to pple how i feel.. when i m angry.. when i m upset.. when i m hurt.. i normally chose to keep quiet..

this reminds me.. i had this strange dream on Saturday morning.. its a really scary one.. well.. i dreamt tt my bf's mom disapprove of us being together.. and my bf just left me alone in the room No. 432.. and so i had to loiter around the neighbourhood.. in my sleeping attire.. feeling so ever pathetic.. sad rite?? its so scary and seems to real.. i nv want to feel tt way again..

O ya.. btw.. thanks to mao and kailin.. making me feel better after a bad day of study last nite.. u have no idea what they say to me actually can make me a happier person..

also to mery and stella.. sorry cant join u guys for studies.. =P

To YC.. working still bother to reply me.. u are e beST~

Its been 20 days.. .. ..

Gonna meet mao and ming to study later.. hehe.. looking forward!~

♥ My World My Life

2:50 PM

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I kinda expect everything from the start, havent i??

its just tt i was in the wrong track all e while ya..

guess its all feelings.. i cant blame him.. i was like him back then..

jealousy, guilt, reminiscing past.. its all part of human's feeling isnt it..feeling for the lost of love..

guess its vicious cycle.. i finally knew how weihao felt when i kept talking to him about ben..

am i hurt? i dunno.. maybe numb..

maybe.. maybe this feeling will go away when i wake up from my sleep tomorro morning .. maybe.. perhaps..

wish i can sleep forever now..

♥ My World My Life

12:56 AM

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This entry is dedicated to all my girls victimised by jerks and bastards.

LISTEN HERE..

You girls are strong and beautiful, gorgeous and special, whatever they do to make u feel bad about yourself, IGNORE IT. let it go with time..

You girls are worth more than their side kicks. flings or watever.

Its tough, definitely, putting in your emotions and time and effort but yet to find out everything from them are lies, hoaxes.. but pls pull urselves together!

Once u have seen their true faces, don grief over it anymore.. (easier said than done, i know)..for all u know, they wont even know u cry for them.. or happily moving on in their life..take it as a leanring experience..

Don ever feel that why u are not loved.. becos I LOVE U GIRLS.. really..

and you'll be love ya?

AND TO THOSE BLOODY FARKERS OUT THERE.. (not directed at anyone).. GET A LIFE LA PLEASE...SO MANY GIRLS ON HAND FOR WAT SIA????? EXHIBITION AR!? STOP VICTIMISING GIRLS. ESP THOSE THAT REALLY LOVES U.. WANT PLAY? GO LOOK FOR BITCH.. NOT MY ANGELS PLS!

*i m not good with words.. hope u girls noe what i m trying to say..

*HUGS*

♥ My World My Life

12:26 AM

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haha.. this is so funny.. i was tuning to my FM on way hm.. and was searchin *2.. mm.. nothings is nice.. then suddenly.. i heard TECHNO.. wahah.. corny rite?? I first heard crazy baby, then Edge of Love then God is a Girl.. Woo!~ haha.. miss my techno days.. now on my winamp is Reset - Blue.. hehe..

Had a nice dinner. Er.. more of dessert i guess.. this guy really has got a super sweet tooth!! oMG.. well.. we went to redeem my voucher at Country Mana.. well.. wanted to do soem dessert.. but tot its not worth it.. so we ordered a lasagne..BUT we still ordered a small brownie and some nacho chips.. hehe.. the nacho is nice..

And even after the brownie we had.. he complained tt its not warm enough.. n its not nice.. n i took up his challenge of another round at NYDC.. .. mm.. in the end we went Olio instead.. cos he wanted to try new place.. yup.. we ordered a black and white brownie~ haha.. its nice.. and SINFUL.. well but he told me the ice cream is supposed to be NO FAT cos its Gelato or smth.. haha.. but well.. wat abt the BROWNIE?!

Anyway, anyone over here doesnt believe in FATE?

O well... i used to dubious.. but now.. i think i have to believe..

anyone remember Turn Left Turn Right? the chinese movie.. i used to think its damn lame.. 2 person so near each other but nv meet.. cos its not time yet..

well.. thats exactly wat happen to me and Gerald..

Its kinda freaky actually.. here goes..

1. For my entire childhood, i lived in Jurong East street 32 Block 306 ya? well, he lives in St 32 and block 307. u may say, one blk so many pple.. but.. i knew a lot of pple from 304 to 309.. haha
2. Same Kindergarden, but different year apparently
3. Our favorite hangout place is the Mama shop at my void deck
4. Years later, well, both of us went to Kailin's 21st birthday, and again, we din see each other or rather, notice.
5. His good friends happen to know my best friend and in same school
6. And only until tt faithful nite at clubbing, we know each other..and not thru friend's intro..

HAHAHA..

"You make me a different person when i m with u.."

♥ My World My Life

11:50 PM

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My Simple Life ♥

Whats on winamp: Boulevard of broken dreams.

I felt so resigned.

A super low feeling in me.. why?

Blasting my music to full..SiGh..

watever fark.

anyway.. forgot to mention tt the nite at Black, i saw "Andy" .. mm.. whos andy.. remember my EX - nooch crush?? e one in the anti-drug abuse ad? hes working at black now... wahahhaa.. =X but hes no longer my crush.. btw.. i don think his name is Andy.. just giving him e name cos he got the "Andy" look.. Hmm..

Monday just passed and yup.. i studied hard for my exam.. dinner with my special one.. we walked from Marina to Bq and we nearly lost our way.. it was a long walk.. esp wtih my heels.. but heck la..

Golden cafe.. the place i always like to have my dinner after my chionging session at Boat House or after my work at HD.. food is still as nice.. reminds me of my "young and dangerous" days..lol

After dinner was dessert.. HD ice cream from 7-11.. we were sitting near the big bird.. relaxing and nice..

17 days to go.. i will be lonely after tt..

♥ My World My Life

11:29 AM

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Check this out!! Cool!!

You Are Bad Girl Sexy

Girl, you are nothing but trouble. And that's hot.
You've got the classic bad girl sexiness mojo going on.
And you're badass attitude makes men fear you - and crave you.
Don't give into people who say to tone it down. You're perfect as is.

What Kind of Sexy Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

And when i took the test the second time

You Are Fun Sexy

You're funny, quirky, cute, and sassy.
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!

What Kind of Sexy Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

♥ My World My Life

2:52 PM

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My Simple Life ♥

Monday afternoon in the lab in school.. this is my study week.. Kailin is right beside me reading blogs.. and me.. blogging.. lol.. we are supposed to do e-learnin! lol.. wadever..

Mm..a stupid msg came by last nite.. n i m damn irritated..

Him: "I miss you.. how are u.."
Me: " O.. i m fine.. studying hard for exams.. u not blogging already ar?"
Him: " U are the one not blogging, not me."
Me: " .. Dont sound so demanding.. i dont owe u any entry.."
Him: "I just want to check out how u doing.. u tc .. don need to reply .. nite"

Bloody.. its super irritating la..

Hope he can stop his childish act.. ever since i left him.. irn pple doesnt talk to me anymore lo..

Jason and Eric stopped calling.. see michelle in school she give me a v weird look.. walk along orchard road, those irn pple like joseph just kept looking.. wt.. give me a break..

♥ My World My Life

2:35 PM

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My Simple Life ♥

I m feeling sad.. for a close friend of mine~ shes having problems with her bf and just broke off ytd..

its kinda disheartening to see this kind of things.. and i really want to help when the guy called..but all i can do is to look after my dearest girl to make sure she doesnt do silly things..

SIgh..

met mery in town at 8.. it was supposed to be a catching up session for me her weiling and stella.. however, stella wasnt able to make it so early due to her work n weiling wasnt early as well.. so me n mery went to Coffee club for a drink..

well.. basically we talked about alot of things.. mainly between she and pw.. hope by talking me it will make her feel better..

i know its been hard on her all this while.. having to be understanding and stuff.. n to find tt the guy doesnt really appreciate it..

stella came to find us after her work.. she only stayed for a while and she had to go.. she look shagged.. prob due to the work.. n she seems quiet as well.. prob becos of the tiredness? lol..

WEiling reach shortly after stella.. and just sitting around.. casual chat.. took some pics and left the place at 11..

Walked stella to the mrt station.. n me n mery decided to go to chill.. i suggested movie.. cos i guess its a healthier way of chilling.. but she insisted on drinking.. so we went to Indochine at wisma.. my virgin visit.

Well.. it was not as good as Forbidden city but nonetheless its nice to be in cos there was not much pple..

we founda comfy seat and listened to the live band perforance.. they were good.. really good.. and we saw sherman..the bass player of the band.. haha.. its been long since i last saw him.. he changed alot.. from the way he talk especially.. n u cant imagine the amount of money he is getting.. $300 a nite.. if i din hear wrongly..

I ordered some interesting drink after flipping the Menu again and again.. its CHOCOLATE MARTINI.. o pls try.. its really good..took me a lot of courage to order tt..

the staffs over at Indochine are v cool pple.. v friendly.. haha..look at e pics we took and u will know what i meant.. haha..

switching between e life band was some RnB..made me wanna club .. n crazy mery suggested paying for my entry to CB and lets go chiong.. i was like tempted.. so we left for our clubbing session..but as the Q was too long.. we dropped the idea.. kinda disappointed.. but yeah.. we knew we will have the chance to club again..

Me and my precious girl was talking in Indochine.. guess shes really troubled and i hope by talking to me she feels better..cos i noe exactly how she felt..tt kinda insecure feeling she had.. dunno why my dear girl has to repeat my footsteps.. *Hugs

I love my dear Mery, and also all the rest whom is so close to me.. u noe who u are.. and tts including KZY ..

This girl actually wrote in her blog tt i take her for granted??? just wondering la.. when did i ever leave her alone when she needed me? all the while i have always been there.. i picked up her call even when i m having my private time.. i accompany her clubbing as much as i can even if its the last min.. i msg her when she feels down.. i keep her company when she asked me to cos shes like feeling low..

taking tt person for granted means tt when i need tt person, i go to her.. if i dont need her.. i will just completely forget abt her isnt it.. well.. if tts how we define it.. i have nv took anyone for granted.. cos as far as i m concerned.. i try not to trouble my friends with my problems, unless i really need pple to talk to me..

just becos of one call i din know i missed.. she said tt i don care for her already..i tot she know me long enough to know tt i m not tt kinda pple she is referring to..i m sad la ok..tt nite when i called her when i was down she din pick up too..but i know she not don care lo..n i nv say she take me for granted sia..

shes nt the first person who came to me and say tt i don care for them.. i really dunno.. i love all my friends.. and no matter who is in trouble.. i will be there.. but why is it like so hard to just make pple believe tt i m a so-called FRIEND?

so pls, next time before saying tt i don care.. think about the time i squeeze out to talk to u and the sms i used to check out on u.. and think abt if u have always been there for me.. (note: this is not directed at anyone in particular, i m just saying my piece)

i hope this can be the last time..

♥ My World My Life

12:36 AM

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What makes u the happiest girl on earth?

1. Lying on his chest and hug him to sleep, fingers locked together
2. He lie on your shoulder or lap and you look at his sleeping face quietly
3. Hes the last person u saw before u sleep and the first person to say good morning to you after u open ur eyes
4. He calls you when he is making his way home and ask you to take care of yourself
5. He sings to you and look at you right in the eyes
6. He wanted to accompany you when he know you are not in the best of mood
7. He drops u a msg before he sleep and first thing when he wakes up to gif u a good +hug+
8. He tells you "I'm here" when u are in a bad shape and really need someone.
9. He tells you that your imperfection makes you special and unique
10. You love him

So? which ones?

♥ My World My Life

3:22 PM

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My Simple Life ♥

Call me bitch or watever fark.. i raelly cant be bothered.. well.. like i always say.. if pple called u a BITCH.. most of the time tts becos u are popular and pple notice u.. so u think I CARE??

Enough said.

Went to black on friday with KaiLin..knew her for 3 years and its the first time i saw her crying.. *hugs* knew she is really troubled over her friend's issue.. hope she pull herself together and study hard.. din really want her to go black with carol alone .. so i accompanied them.. it was a super last min decision, so i din jio other pple along..

first time club on friday nite.. well. crowd is a lil diff.. but nevertheless.. it was er.. quite.. er.. fun?? at some pt la..

Gerald was there too.. with his friends.. din want to disturb him so i just told him i was around.. haha.. but he bumped into me when he came downstairs.. he went back to find his friends while me carol n kailin headed to the dance floor..

Its rather dangerous for the 3 of us so i suggested going to e platform.. at least its safer up there.. lol..

had wanted to meet his friends when he asked.. but ..i wasnt really in the best of mood.. n i din wan to leave a bad impression.. so.. yup..

Went to find GOrdon.. its a big mistake.. i m a girl n i really noe how it felt when u see tt kinda thing.. well.. maybe the guy was a victim too.. but .. no matter how he tried to explain.. the scene will be in the mind.. but she was brave enough to walk up to him........................and walk away..

Her bartender friend got us some drinks. n she started drinking..

felt bad about leaving her alone there but i noe i have to get home by 4..

ONly manage to sleep at 6.. i m glad my bolstie is with me =( felt lonely.. but nevertheless.. it was a wonderful nite~

♥ My World My Life

3:02 PM

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Today is the last lesson i have in NYP.. (provided i dont fail any module) .. i dont have those very sad feeling unlike in secondary school.. no idea why..

Met YC today for some coffee at the coffee club near marina square..i called it the feel-good therapy.. or rather a counselling session..

he got me this super upsized macademia nut latte .. lol.. which i accidentally spilled some over my abercombie jacket.. =(

It was a really relaxed chat as usual.. talk about everything.. his work and stuff n him showering me with all the philosophies and life stories.. o well.. n he referred spending time with me at coffee club as a luxury.. cos he doesnt do it with anybody else except for me.. lol.. he think its a waste of time.. =P

O.. n not forgetting he actually got me the necklace!! thank him so much.. i like it alot..heh..

and someone is a lil jealous tt i got a new beau! lol.. k la..j/j.. i got wat u meant ya?

as usual he was there to listen to my blabber.. n his point of view often means alot to me..

Yes and like he says..whatever we do.. we must be happY..

SiGh.. seems to be losing myself.. find tt i dont understand myself enough to know wat i want.. mm..

♥ My World My Life

11:42 PM

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Hmm.. crazy nite??

wanted to leave at 1 plus.. but, believe me, i wasnt looking at the time.. n finally when i look at it.. its already 230.. was like WTH!! mom is gonna kill me la.. but i stayed till 3 due to persuasion by mao..

There was me, evelyn, jasmine and Janson..kailin was there la.. but tt girl din pick up my call .. din even tell me shes coming until Ming told us shes around.. Mm..

yes, we met ming as well.. so long no club with him.. heart sank when i saw him though.. he was crying.. needless to ask, must be becos of his gf/ex..n yet there was nothing i can do than constantly asking him if he is ok.. and he tried to pull a smile across his face.. guess i was the only one to notice tt hes feeling so low.. n drunk as well..kept wondering all the time what can i do to make him feel better.. hope he will pull himself tgt..

anyway, it was damn packed la.. we spend half an hr squeezing into the crowd..music sucks initially but after Janson left, it got better! wahaha.. no la.. there was NUMB.. haha..

O.. n i saw itch while i was making my way into zouk.. seem to see him everywhere lo..

Manage to squeeze our way to the end of dance floor and found the near-the-wall place..hhaa.. so we can lean whenever we r tired..there was this guy in shirt, stood behind me thruout the whole night.. trying to brush me eh.. n jasmine said hes cute.. seriously, this time i don even know how he looks like even after the lights were on.. liek i care~ din even ans him when he ask for my name.. n he peeked at my phone when i was smsing la.. sms kailin tell her i leaving soon and he typed on his phone.. "u wan me to walk u out.." i was like .. no thanks..

Jasmine met this v fierce guy.. i find him a disgusting guy.. a v act act guy.. but yet seems to be v good with girls.. he was dancing facing back to jasmine.. and he was holding 2 girls.. one left and one right.. and both of them were like clinging to him.. i felt like they are damn cheap.. n hes no way near cute~ n he is so not gentleman to push jasmine hard..wat a siGht~

Janson was stripped by me jasmine and mao but luckily he was wearing singlet inside..

n my poor toes din survive last nite.. it was stepped again and again.. most of the time by guys..~ argH..swollen once again..

Party ended with Toxic.. went to take my bag from zouk alone cos the rest left their bags at the entrance locker.. n there was this weird guy tt came up to me and say "U alone ar? its v lonely to walk out alone know.." i think he got the wrong person.. n i just hurried out..

And met KhaiKhin and Teng Jay~~!~! tengjay, our fighter in secondary school.. notorious.. but when i saw him last nite.. hah.. i think its damn funny.. he has became like so gay!!! oMg.. he told me the "young and dangerous days were over already.. pple change.." haha.. i still find its so funny..

Katherine was drunk n ming was like taking care of her..mao stayed too.. so no one accompany me to walk to taxi stand.. luckily jasmine was kind enough to walk me there..

So yup.. tts what happened last nite~ heh..

Looking forward to next clubbing session.. hopefully hes coming with me.. =P

♥ My World My Life

1:39 PM

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My Simple Life ♥

Tired.. waiting for my next class at 2.. mm..

Music: Penny - Wo Yao De Ai

always have this slackin feeling in the lab at these hours.. in my mind, lots seems to be rumbling thru...and i know.. aw.. its my moodswing again~

GOnna meet mao later in the noon for some shopping.. and also to accompany her.. guess she is rather low..ah well.. if i go meet her.. we will make a pair..

Skipped class ytd n went to meet Gerald for dinner.. it feels good to see him.. and tt he is feeling better..

Had purposely went to get some herbal tea for him to curb his cough.. its bitter .. but he finished half the bottle.. tot he will not want to drink it.. but he said, well, its from me.. so he will finish it..

Wanted to catch movie.. no slots as usual.. or rather, there is..Lemony Snickets - which he will be catching with his classmates, Boogeyman - hah. dont dare watch la..

Spend some precious time at someplace..talk..getting-to-know-each-other-better session.. when mao called to jio me go clubbing.. kinda unexpected.. cos in the noon she said shes not going~ ah well..

well, he had wanted to join me if he had the invites to zouk.. n i was like so happy. but he couldnt get his friend tho..

Sweet of me to keep asking me if i want some ice-cream.. or maybe he wants some.. but i just din want to move away from the place we were at.

Finally left the place at 1030..and as we were walking towards the MRT station.. we realised tt he has got rashes over his face and neck - ALlergy..

It was his first time experiencing it and we both had no idea what leads to tt.. i know he feels damn uncomfortable.. but there was nothing i can do..

and he still insist to accompany me till 1115 till my meeting time with mao.. din want to put him thru this.. but i cant bear to part with him..

he then accompany me to Tiong Bahru for my dinner at Mac.. it was 11 den..we stayed till 1130 before i leave for zouk..guess i m over obsessed with spending my last few minutes with him at the bus stop.. i forgot to ask him where to alight.. n i ended in orchard and i have to take 16 back to ZOuk.. lol..

next entry.. on Zouk..

♥ My World My Life

1:10 PM

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I cant sleep.. haha.. ironic~ has been missing sleep due to my projects.. but today is the last day i need to face my school projects.. haha.. and i STILL cant sleep.. tsk tsk..

Probably cos i miss my boi..we just got off the phone.. just a short 15 min chat.. he was waiting for me to call..

Realise tt we seems to have have problem chatting on the phone.. n trust me .. its the first time i m having this problem with my guy friends..we got unlimited topics when we are outside, when sms ing each other as well as irc .. however, we just seem to have problem conversing over the phone.. weird eh?

BUt nevertheless, we are trying.. =)

i only want you.. >_<~

WE most probably will not be spending the weekend tgt.. cos he is meeting his friends.. neither will we be spending the first public holiday (Good friday) together.. ah well.. =P

time, freedom.. u want it.. u have it..

He was bothered over my short and slow reply this morning.. i m sorry that i have to make his day worst when he is sick~

School is at 9 tml.. but i wont be there till 930.. hoho.. who cares man.. i m just gonna show my face~

after which i m gonna see him in the evening.. he is bringing me shopping~ heh.. tts not the main pt tho.. main pt is i gotta see him..

I believe that it time will tell.. time will let me know him better..time will heal him (with my love) .. time will bring us closer..

CLOSER - Cant take my eyes off you.. cant take my mind off of you..

♥ My World My Life

1:49 AM

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imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu

imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu

imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu

imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu

imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu

imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu

imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu

imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu

imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu_imissu

Its an empty feeling that i feel
Its with me everyday
Its a feeling that returns to me
Whenever you're away.

I simply miss you being there
Life seems dull and flat
Without you nothing's quite the same
I cant say more than that

I tell myself it won't be long
This can't go on forever,
I'll be happy soon,

But only when We are back together..

+my.bOi+

♥ My World My Life

10:32 PM

♥

My Simple Life ♥

Time now is 12 pm.. my make up test time.. once again.. i din study for it..

I am gonna give up..while kailin is scribbling e formulas on her paper..

I am feeling so down..

♥ My World My Life

11:58 AM

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What a day~

Blew my top at my grp members for sm reasons.. n to find tt i m kinda childish.. apologise in e end..

Theres only an hr lesson todaY~borIng~

finally went to sim..and register for my enrolment.. haiz..finally a load off my mind..

Waited for Gerald to finish work at 730.. it was a long wait.. cant concentrate on my studies..went shopping instead.. bought a skirt, spag top and some skin care..

he finished 720.. poor guy is sick again.. i know i m paranoid but somehow i feel like if i stay away from him.. he will stop coughing.. since i heard him cough on our first date till today.. its been a month..

went to eat dinner at Foodcourt.. nothing much to eat.. mm.. and he suggested desert.. tsk tsk.. sweet tooth..

went to carrefour to get himself a drink.. becos of tt something happened and bothered him for the entire nite.. guilt was clinging to him..and also to make me realised things is really bad.. cos i cant bring myself to be angry at him..

in e end i got myself yami yoghurt..went to sit at the fountain.. nice songs..nice place.. nice guy..

Everything was nice n we started to talk.. and suddenly.. he just go quiet .. scaringly quiet.. it hurts me in there when he just stare blankly and refuses to talk to me.. just like tt nite at esp..

U really got the wrong idea.. we will talk abt it another day..

Went home shortly after 10..wanted him to rest but before i told him i could go home myself.. he told me he cant send me home.. ahah..

he did walk to me to NEL and i wanted to wait another train before i leave.. well.. he expected tt..no big deal~

he looks damn sick and i wish i can be there to take care of him.. but i noe i cant..

surprisingly it was a short ride back.. before i knew it .. its sengkang.. lots went thru my mind.. now i cant remember.. prob some rumbling of stuffs..

Reach home and damn tired..had to work on my PPT..and he was going to sleep..

work till 2.. and my com hang.. this time no auto recovery.. watever..

Gonna sleep.. like i care~

♥ My World My Life

11:39 PM

♥

My Simple Life ♥

Was browsing stella's blog.. omg.. reminds me of smth we talked abt tt nite after clubbing at coco latte...

Monday, March 07, 2005

"you are very nice.. i am just not worth it for you.."

This is e most cruel n diplomatic way of telling that person is not what you want..

" you do mean something to me in my heart.. but..."This is just simply selfish..

Exasperating..Enough said..i sympathise with such victims (am i one of them, stella?) out there

Dont ever do this to anyone, if you know that its impossible in the first place, dont lead people on. Yes it might be difficult to make a decision, Well.. let the other party know your difficulties then.

If you wanna play it like a FLING, let it remain as one, never let the emotions come in.

I supposed what she say is right.. haiz.. *hugs stella.. if u need me.. i m a call away.. sory for not able to be there fer u.. *HUgz

♥ My World My Life

12:57 PM

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My Simple Life ♥

Feeling now:

Confused, dubious, angry, disappointed, silly, foolish, frighten, shattered, used, farked, mixed-up..

Serene, u are still an idiot.. what makes u think u are so special?

watever, think i care?

♥ My World My Life

1:13 AM

♥

My Simple Life ♥

"you tc.. No matter what happen.. Any problem pls come to me.. i will always be there for you.. Miss ya.. Good night.." - Weihao.

SiGh..hes being 2 nice to me.. and i hate it.. why cant he hate me..

i NEED someone with me.. i couldnt get him.. still sleeping i guess?

Off to study~ Cheers.

♥ My World My Life

12:52 AM

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Its late evening.. managed to drag myself to compass point to get my dinner.. big mistake to get chicken rice since i was not havnig much appetite.. but nvm.. just to fill my stomach..

slept the entire day~ to cover up the loss of sleep for whole week..from tml onwards.. it will be better.. yeah~

forgot to mentioned that other than the chicken rice i got myself a pair of heels from CnK.. lol.. cos its having its last day season sale.. and i bought it cos i kinda like it, although its not teh one i always aiming at~

I m feeling sleepy rite now~ n he is sick.. sleeping i guess.. maybe i can meet him in dreamland or something~? lol..

Receive a msg from JQ on fri.. he had wanted to treat me for a movie.. but apparently he cant.. cos hes busy for the weekend.. hope everything is going well for him..

Ben is sick too.. better take care, Ben

gotta study for my makeup test on tues~

Attention to all my clubbing khakis... any clubbing session pls inform me.. 24/7..

♥ My World My Life

9:12 PM

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My Simple Life ♥

He's sweet, loving, caring, irresistable, humourous, forgetful, attention-giving,sunshine gentle and forever sleepy +my bOi+ tsk tsk tsk.. addictive~

Its kinda sad, my hp went berserk and deleted away half of my inbox..there goes all my msgs~ =(

Reports finally done n the last one really sucks.. i guess i m going to fare badly for it.. haiz..watever.. no school topic for today..

Met up Gerald at town on Fri.. was supposed to be watching Boogeyman.. but firstly, hes scared..secondly, theres no seats at PS n tot we shouldnt spend much tt nite..

so ONCE AGAIN, we walk from PS to shaw.. *we seemed to be cursed to walk that long route* but nevertheless, i enjoy walking with him..

To shaw n we decided not to watch it either.. just sit around and we had to walk back to CCE for my calamari rings... wahahahaha.. in addition of tt.. we had his first muddy mudpie~ *SlurP

Stayed up till 5 talking to him.. n yea..although there was some unhappiness.. but we manage to resolve it in the end~

cant take my eyes off you, i cant take my eyes off you, i cant take my eyes off you.. i cant take my eyes off you.. - Blower's daughter

things between us is going thru some kinda chemical change now.. wonder if its good or bad~

Met grace and gang for her birthday dinner last nite~ i was feeling real sick prob due to the lack of sleep and the macaroni taste so disgusting.. a few spoonfuls and i chucked it to e side~ and mao was there to help me finish it .. despite claiming tt shes so sick and cant raelly taste anything..

dinner was crappy as usual even after hanzi's JD came over.. well.. han had this forfeit due to losing the UNO game (Yes! we are playing UNO is cafe cartel! *roll eyes*) .. actually i was supposed to lose the game.. but then i had all my supporters so i won by crook.. lol.. she had to go to the waiter to get one huge stack of serviettes.. n she did..

after dinner, hanzi left n the rest of us walked to Lucky, hopefully a game of pool.. walked there and for us to realise.. mm.. inside a lot of gangster.. so we walked back to cuppage, and to realise cuppage was closed..and mao was certain tt there is one at meridien so we walked over.. n there was no table.. -_- JOn and gerald was with us then.. cos they were dua by their friends.. so they suggested going back to LUCKY..haiz.. and also mervin's friends were over there.. yeah.. so we went over..

Summary: PS --> Lucky --> CUppage --> Meridien --> Lucky

thinking tt it might be weird cos gerald doesnt know my friends.. but it wasnt.. all thanks to mao.. beign her looney usual self.. lol..

great to see her again~!~ glad tt shes doing well in life.. supposed to club.. which i was dying to go to.. but why din we go?? cant remmeber e reasons.. mm.. nvm.. there will still be chances!@~!

I miss my other girls as well...hope they are doing fine~

♥ My World My Life

1:33 PM

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*biting off mybreakfast-fav ham mayo sandwich (the only thing tt i will miss after i graduate) and trying to get my report done..

and he keeps nagging me abt my report..giving me stern look =(

I am trying la~

"..i love the way you love me.."

"anything for u.."

damn sleepy now la.. need slp~ arGh..

♥ My World My Life

11:18 AM

♥

My Simple Life ♥

Report reports and reports..

its driving me crazy.. luckily i got my own entertainment.. =) been coming home late.. and home tired.. lol..

".. and YOU will be loved..", he said.. how sweet..

Weird, i have got pple so concerned abt me n gerald? n there was jasmine asking me abt the "green tee" guy at coco.. i kept quiet tho..

Weihao msg me when i was waiting for my train home.. he ask me how i was doing these 2 days.. told him i was doing fine n tried to make some jokes.. he was stern n started telling me tt he watched HITCH n ask me if i have watched it and any other recommendations? so i replied tt ya.. i have caught Hitch last weekend..closer is nice and RObots is not too bad..mm..n he sounded quite turn off with his reply like this: "Ok..dont bother u le.. tc"

My life is good.. as good as before.. or maybe better than ever.. that is other than the project part ya..

just realise i need to do some shoppin real badly.. cleared my wardrobe n its now so empty! n my sandals are spoilt..and no heels alrady.. n i just lost my pink(favourite) skirt..n gotta get new necklace and bracelet..earrings as well.. ALOT..

Chinablack this sat eh Mao?? let me know ya~ destress~!~study hard.. i miss u lots..

..i m addicted to u..

♥ My World My Life

12:02 AM

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..today is 9th march..time now is 12 am..

from this moment on, my life is a lil diff already~ =)

Sitting in front of the com right now.. tired and puffy eyes due to lack of slp.. only slept for one hr i think..

Whats on Winamp: True - Ryan Crabrera

Project work is piling in..arGh..

Went to meet Gerald for dinner after my study session ytd~ due to his lack of sleep the previous nite.. he went super looney.. kept me laughing real hard..

I swear i m going to drag him to watch Boogeyman..

NO movie slots and guess both of us are tired to watch any movie~ so we headed home..

i think i m gonna stop reading his blog~ don want him to feel deprived of his privacy and write for the sake of letting me see~

tsk tsk.. The injury suffered from my clubbing nite is still visible.. it looks swollen..and blackish.. must be due to the blood clog~

Everything seems so beautiful today~ =D

Theres a lot of things i wanna tell you.. but i guess theres a right tiem for it..right now..i want to tell u not to be afraid of anything.. as long as you try~ i will be happy enough.. let me love you?

♥ My World My Life

2:42 PM

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Sitting in front of the com.. feeling GOD damn stressed..

haiz.. bloody school have to squeeze so many things in one week.. all my classmates are sick..theres this test today~ everyone is going to get MC.. clinic is making big bucks due to the stupid school system.. haiz..

And my bloody phone is low-batt.. and the charger is spoilt~ feeling damn low now..

i used to be one of those v diligent and capable worker in group projects.. tts why they always like to group with me.. why? cos i do all the work~i m still a capable worker..but comparatively.. i m not so diligent alreaDy~ ma chiam free rider.. i know tts how i appear to some pple in e class... haiz.. i have no idea what happened to me this semester~ hai..setting all wrong priorities..

i cant wait to get out of this bloody school..and i dun have to see all their faces alreadY~

They don understand.. having to work and at the same time i v stressful.. and i have to forego my work most of the time.. so where do i get all the money?? savings la..

Whats on winamp: Ryan cabrera - True

Just dl this song from email by Gerald.. its v nice.. i always hear it but have no idea what the name of the song is..until the other day he showed me the album at HMV..

You might think i dont look
But deep inside
In the corner of my mind
Im attached to you
Im weak
Its true
Cuz im afarid to know the awnsers
Do you want me too?
Cuz my heart keeps fallnig faster
for you..

gotta go work on my report.. take care all~

♥ My World My Life

12:23 PM

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My Simple Life ♥

y am i like blogging so many entries today~!~??

O.. thanks for those who called this noon to check out on me.. yup.. i m fine.. =)

HEre i m sitting in front of the com.. trying to figure out the answers to my IB report.. haiz.. and i got a test tml~ haiz.. stressful.. need to destress .. will be finding sometime to X-Square this week to complete my Fatal Frame 2.. yeah..tml maybe??

was talking to kailin on icq..and she sent me Numb ENCORE!!! i am so happy.. i only got numb.. but not numb encore.. this girl crazy one la.. we were at the lab doing our stuff and listening to her mp3 then suddenly she tell me "Eh.. i change song hor.." i was like.. "ok.. anything.." then she chose NUMB.. lol.. then she started laughing at me.. cos she noe i loved the song.. n i got so distracted from my work..Mm..

Mery called this noon.. and haha.. once again.. i heard things again.. mmm.. but whatever..i m just curious abt wat they were all saying abt me.. =)

Was trying my best to rephrase ans copied from Kailin when suddenly an sms came..

Ben: Watcha doing..?
Me: Trying to study my stuffs la..haha..wats up...
Ben: Nah nth just thinking of u.. so see whatcha doing..

MM.. isnt tt nice.. its good to feel that there are some pple thinking of u when u are so stressed up with ur work.. mm.. wish he can be here to talk to me la.. yup.. but hes damn stressed up with his work at Devils too..wish his all the best~n hope he takes care of himself..

and came stella's msg as well..

*Craving for Haagen Dazs ice cream..

Well.. i have to get back to work~

♥ My World My Life

10:29 PM

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My Simple Life ♥

Kailin came around 10.. n shes sitting beside me ya..

listening to her mp3.. shes got all the clubbing music~!~!

-_- no mood to research~~

♥ My World My Life

10:40 AM

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My Simple Life ♥

It was never you not being able to be a good boyfriend..

You gave me the love, care and concern any other girl will always want..

Tolerated my selfishness and unreasonableness..
Share my unhappiness and lend me ur shoulders..
Love me so much that u lost all ur friends, pastimes..
Letting ur life evolve only around me n work..
ANswer my calls in the middle of the nite..

We've been thru lots together..
those days where i am so farked up with my work..
those days that i wanted to MIA from work..
those days that pple were making use of us..
those days when both of us are left with less than $5 and u are willing to use that $5 to get me my food n u refused to eat..
those days when i m sick n u tk off for hours just to come back to sengkang n bring me to see doc~

however, i am sorry.. i m just not any other girl..

yes, and if u ask..i will be so blessed to be with u if not becos of my past that led to my present..

I am sorry that i brought u so much unhappiness..
I am sorry if i havent shown u that i treasure u so much..
I am sorry that i may not be able to join u in your future..
going overseas 4 honey moon, decorating our new house, where to hold our wedding dinners..
I am sorry for always lettign u down by not telling u i love u as much as before..
I am sorry for being so unreasonable and shouting at u..
I am sorry for always being so demanding.. n u always giving in to me..
I am sorry for not be able to hug u so much when u needs me to..

BUt i have never treated u like some body else.. i treat u like an individual..n u are impt to me..

Maybe i cant be that most blessed girl that u always want to be.. but it is never going to be ur fault..

♥ My World My Life

9:36 AM

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My Simple Life ♥

I made it! i made it to the lecture i wanted to skip~ at 910, i scan my card~ wahaha..

but i din attend it anyway..would rather spend time clearing my project at lab~

Had a late nite.. n i look damn haggard now..wearing my faded 3 quarter and a cartoon t shirt..hair rather messy..no earrings..with flip flops..gosh.. i hope i can get home soon~

Just realised that human being are such vulnerable animals..tsk tsk..

Come to think of it..(not boosting,but..) the frequency of me being picked up by guys in clubs and buying me drinks has increased significantly..although still not alot.. but yup..just more..

So is it becos i carry myself in a more confident way? Being more sociable? Or appear easier to bed? lol..

CLubbing mambo nite~ and sat..any takers..??

I know..i wasnt supposed to club already~i know ar..

♥ My World My Life

9:31 AM

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My Simple Life ♥

Alrite.. everything is like so clear.. yup.. feeling gd ya..

its a tough decision.. but i guess weihao has to move on.. yup..

no pt making him worry abt me all the time.. although i have this dreadful feeling in me.. i know he has made e right decision ya..

just got off the phone with mao n hanzi.. thanks for being so concerned.. i din wan to call the rest... cos it wont be nice to disturb them ya...

from the chat, mao told me tt some pple are concerned abt me.. i just wanna say thanks to those whom are really concerned.. but for those whom only want things to gossip abt.. scram..

was rather affected by wat mao told me .. but well.. i told her i was fine.. tts abt clubbing u see.. whaever u see.. whatever u do.. it has to be forgotten.. yup..at least u have to try..

Rumours - gossips that are untrue.. but at the same time hurting~

i m moving on.. with or without you.. i am good.. =)

♥ My World My Life

2:54 AM

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It was my so-called griefing nite, i have sent out invitation to my friends last sun for wed mambo nite.. but no one turns up.. finally i was able to gather my close friends last nite~ except for kailin..if only shes around la..

i tot its gonna be really fun ya..cos i dragged mao and jasmine, eve, xiaohui, stella, mery and pangwei la.. tis all my clubbing khaki..

but i tink other than stella and mery.. the rest not v interested in Coco la..i feel bad for dragging them there and they keep thinking of double 'o'..should have let them go instead.. haiz..

i wanted to go black actually..but then they say since settle on coco le then dun change.. and i have to force mao to go la..cos i raelly miss clubbing with her and miss her too (really no other reasons.)

dunno whats wrong with me..only had a bit and i was abit high already.. bit seh.. had this whisky (free drink), vodka (Itch), e33(Kelvin) and lychee martini(Pangwei)

talking abt this guy itch.. hes a DJ..he was standing next to me when i was bit seh la.. he starting cracking some jokes and we started talking..den when i was leaning against the wall.. i can feel tt his fingers was rubbing against my hand ya.. but i was too tired to retaliate lo.. and it doesnt take him long to lock his fingers with mine and he just pulled me downstairs to talk.. i really din know what i was doing *slaps myself* and only when i reach downstairs and the fresh air wakes me up..n i saw mao.. then i realise i have done smth wrong! wth.. i din give him my no. cos i really dun feel like when he ask so i quickly went to find ah mao.. i m so sorry i left her there.. =(

went back to the dance floor with her.. bit more awake and started dancing our nite away.. we were like 2 lesbians la.. haha.. no.. i think all of us look like lesbian last nite.. me mery, me jasmine, me mao especially.. lol.. but yup.. its fun..

gerald was behind me most of the time ya.. but the entire nite he din ask me to dance.. even when mao ask him if he wanna dance with me..(u shouldnt have done tt without asking me!!) he still say later.. he going to get a drink.. o ya.. and he asked me to shut up -_- but well.. to me its just another clubbing nite.. i don wanna think of the reason why he din ask me to dance.. cos apparently he was dancing with this another girl..yup..i had my share of fun eventually..

felt unez cos my phone wasnt with me e whole nite.. but when i got back my phone.. i saw this msg from weihao.. he asked me where i was and he say he was at sengkang.. and ask is there anyway we could meet.. i felt bad la.. cos i din reply.. and it was like 5 then he msg me tt hes gg home..haiz..i serioudly dunno what to do to him..

the nite went away slowly.. n jasmine they all only comes back at 3.. haiz.. by then kelvin they all already left ya..followed by gerald n jon..

tot i would stay till morning outside la.. but apparently no one has tt kinda energy.. so i went to stay at mery's place instead..

had a short chat before we drifted off into dreamland.. guess stella isnt in the best of mood as well...but she got lucky ya? haha..

last crazy nite before i start studying.. last coco nite..will be xploring new places with mao soon.. yup..just as i promised her..

♥ My World My Life

11:28 PM

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Audit ICA is tml.. and i feel mm.. cant find the right word..

ANyway.. met ben in the afternoon for some coffee session.. he had purposely wake up 2 hrs earlier to meet me before he goes to work.. chat went well.. just slack around ya.. exchange some views regarding BGR and yup.. i just felt tt he is treating the gf so much nicer than before la.. ah well. just my luck..but it was nice of him to tell me that he will be there fer me and hopes everything goes well fer me ya..

he was kind enuff to lend me his shoulder ..and in return i bought him some vanilla coffee..

i know i have become so much more independent now.. but no matter how strong a girl can be.. she always long for a shoulder to lie on.. n i guess he will be the one lending me the shoulder.. although i hope not to disturb him too often..

School's ok.. my PFP result is merely pass.. but my EBRW surprisnigly got a B+.. call it luck.. cos we copied the content from the web at the very last min.. wahaha..

Had dinner at LJS with Gerald, again..cos he was supposed to have his training at Padang, but apparently he din know it was cancelled..

Finally went for the dinner we always failed to have at NYDC..it was a some ugly cake with choc chip ice cream..taste good..however, he mixed the remaining melted ice cream with some tabasco and cheese..initially we tot its just for the fun it.. but we started to dare each other to eat it.. GROSS~ yucks.. he said tt it just tasted like Choc spag? gosh.. one crazy guy he is..

went home straight after tt cos i tot he need some rest since he is getting his results tml.. passed by the linkway to esp and we went to check out one of the exhibit we are so impressed with over there..

Wanting him to rest early, but he sent me home instead.. it was really nice of him to keep me company la.. cos apparently it is a super long way home fer him ya..

it was his first time at sengkang.. and he went so 'country-bumpkin'.. lol.. had lots of laugh on our way back to my estate..and.................................then he went home..

had this long phone chat with this person..kinda making me feel silly cos i was like damn frank with him but he tried beating round the bush..e ans to my qns was nv to be found.. honestly i don think he should feel sorri.. cos i wasnt expecting anything in the first place..his contradiction towards his words is getting me confused.. i guess he is confused too~ we will see how things goes..

i am still me =)

♥ My World My Life

3:16 PM

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My Simple Life ♥

My griefing nite- turns out no one went except for weiling.. n i wasnt griefing la..

had my fair share of fun although some remarks were made abt me..and my mom knew i sneaked out..ah well..

couldnt find weiling and i had to stay alone in zouk looking fer her.. fianlly found her at wine bar with this guy named michael, her brother Ken and his gf..

had some fine chat outside before we enter zouk to boogie our way..

shagged, music was nice but decided to leave early since my mood is dampened ya..

Meeting ben for some kopi session tml~

♥ My World My Life

3:12 PM

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I am drained.. shagged.. too tired to handle anything..anyone..theres just too many things fer me to do.. gerald told me i have been putting too much stress on myself.. well.. maybe its true.. but those closer friends around should have know that i am totally diff now ya..taking things so much easier than last time.. cant remember the last time i actually cried.. a stronger me..

Anyway.. glad the meeting with Gerald last nite was a comfortable one.. as in.. it took my mind off a lot of things yup..

was studying at Millenia Walk BK which is rather near his work place.. and he was "nice enough" to offer to have dinner with me.. or rather.. i was the once who pop e qn..

He finished work at 7 and came to look fer me.. mm.. hes going to get his As result this fri.. and hes damn kan chiong la..but well.. i am very confident in him thus i told him if he were to ever retain , i wil just chop off my head.. yes. i am that supportive ok..

but anyway.. hope he will just gif me a call or smth to tell me his results on friday itself.. yup..

anyway.. he suggested pasta at Suntec, if u guys ever read my blog.. i did mentioned tt pasta mania's pasta sucks.. obviously he hasnt been reading la.. eventually , he complaint abt the mushroom soup we shared and my seafood mania sucks too.. ah well..

again, this guy with the sweet tooth wanted some ice cream..he wanted anderson but he made the comment like.. eh.. don want la.. have to walk.. wa.. lazy bones.. and from tt we started this bickering about the hands and legs stuff which i shall not elaborate..

he suggested going to esplanade for some Haagen Dazs ice cream.. i miss Vanilla Caramel Brownie can.. its super nice la.. but apparently some of my x managers were inside so i din go in lo..bought some choc coated strawberries from chocz instead..

Sitting by the river is always wat i always like to do la.. and we started talking.. and this debate about satellites or starts kept us busy for quite a while.. n we started to use our imagination to imagine what the blots of clouds looks like.. he saw charmander, bird, etc and i saw candy floss candy floss and pikachu~

then we started talking la.. me asking him abt him.. and finally i got him saying smth.. abt his past.. abt his previous gf.. well.. can see tt hes actually quite pop with girls.. and good with them ya.. he had one that was really possessive and the next one whom he loves so much.. and when he was telling me abt her.. he just went silent for a moment.. i knew its hurting him.. but i just kept quiet..had wanted to lend him my shoulder or smth.. but guess its not needed..

anyway.. leave the place shortly after 11 for our train.. it was a long walk back to MRT..

he is also complaining that i seem to have picked up the way he talks.. liek "sia" "sia la.." "ah ah.." and some of his intellectual jokes..

tml is just another school day~ Yup

*Cheers!~~!

♥ My World My Life

3:04 PM

♥

My Simple Life ♥

This is to update for ytd.. those closer friend will know .. yup.. i met up with ben ytd.. yes.. my ex bf.. the one that make me go thru sufferings la.. sleepless nite la.. endless crying la.. yup..

However, this relationship that has tormented me for whole 4 years had a chemical change yesterday..yup.. its the strangest and happiest thing i can find so far in my life la.. wahaha..

we just went so comfortable with each other.. and i just feel like i can be myself lo.. we have met up a few times after we broke up.. and most of e time i will just end up being depressed la.. still hoping for his return... and also to an extent tt i will nv ask abt his gf and whenever he mentioned anything abt other girls.. i will just snapped and get so angry..

but yesterday..we just talked ..and i dunno if he had realised it.. he talks quite abit abt the gf eh.. mm.. haha.. maybe subconsciously he is feeling the way i m feeling ba..

and come to think of it.. it is the first time after we broke up i actually went to seek his help regarding my problem.. although most of his comments were based on his FLIRTATIOUS character.. but there are some suggestions which i think is quite good la..

we started to have this joke abt L.. lol.. its our common joke la.. lol..

O well.. i just kept thinking that why cant i realise this earlier?? the way we are now is so much better than me bugging him to come back to me la.. obviously i cant take it la.. cos hes now so full of himself.. girls hitting on him at his workplace ma.. wahaha.. i know if i m his gf i wont have the privilege of knowing how happening his life is outside ya.. wahahae...

btw.. before i forget.. don worry la.. i raelly think u are quite an eligible guy also ok..you are tall.. er... handsome???? .. er.. rich (soon to be) and can talk v well la huh.. happy now?? dont come asking me why i say my ex all not eligible la..

anyway.. went school in the morning and went to boon lay to find him la.. he damn xin fu la.. wake up only got pple buy lunch fer him to his doorstep la.. its the first time i m asking a favour from him la.. so i tot it may be nice if i get him something to eat..

he listened to my blabber la.. basically he just listened la.. and started telling me abt the happening things tt happened to him at work.. eh remember hor.. don be so full of urself.. .. wahaha..

Mm..and just as i was feeling so good abt everything.. his mom came home.. mm.. she used to be my nightmare la.. cos i was like damn uneazy when we were leaving the house.. manage to see his "old-looking" nephew tho.. haha..

And he was nice to offer to help me fix my com la.. but he did say something to me that hurt my pride la.. but anyway.. he keep saying tt i m special la.. ya.. special.. cos i m stupid.. lol..

went to LJS for dinner la.. and started another round of talking again.. this time is more interesting and fruitful.. cos all the while he is the one who cant remember our past.. but he just from no where pop out a shocking fact and i just couldnt close my mouth after tt..

cos we were talking abt how he started clubbing n i told him tt i started clubbing becos of him la.. but he argued tt he learn clubbing from me!? damn it.. i cant remember this thing lo.. and he said the first time he went clubbing was actually with me? WHAT THE? i cant remember even until he told me the details?? we actually went sparks and he even told me tt i was trying to do something funny to him in one of the rooms la... DUH!!!! then i started to remember part of it la.. but not all.. but at least i remember something interesting.. haha..

even talk abt the time whereby i saw him n the gf at zouk la.. i know the gf doesnt like me la.. i mean.. which gf wil like the ex gf of her bf?? but it doesnt matter la.. i don know her anyway..

and he started telling me tt i m such a strong girl today becos of his 'training' la.. what he has put me thru made me a wiser girl la.. dunno if its gd or bad la.. but well.. at least i know tt its true tt i m wat i m today la.. and my thinking is getting better by the day .. tt is wat makes me so special to him ba..

it was also nice of him to give me the Nokia leather strap as a token to remmeber this special day la.. but u still owe me t pearl necklace..dont forget hor..

well.. i can proudly say tt he is gg to remain as one of the most impt person in my life la.. but it wont be the same as last time already.. cos i m treasuring the Rship we are having now.. yup.. hope he remmebers what he told me at the train station..(ah ah..i know u cant remember! and yes, i can definitely take care of myself..

n thanks for checking out on me today ar.. its really nice of u lo..pls be prepare to receive more calls from me hor.. haha.. j/j..

♥ My World My Life

12:40 AM